Ada’s Story
When looking at this wedding picture, there is a bigger story than there appears to be. Aside from the fact that I had just gotten married, I was 17 and also mourning the death of my father. My father passed away the day before my wedding. Talk about being in shock – no one imagined this, he was not even ill. You can imagine what life was like for me at that time. I was still in high school, and lost my mother 2 years before. I had spent the last two years as the woman of my family household. I had three brothers. My mother taught me early all my responsibilities as a young adult. At 15 my mother passed away from cancer.
My mother and father always represented the values I passed on to my family. They taught me faith, strength, education and the value of family. As a young woman I hung on to everything I had ever learned. I had every reason to give up and feel sorry for myself because of what happened to me. At 17 I lost both parents. I had very visible voids in my life. I spent my senior year of high school married and pregnant. I truly waited until marriage and I got pregnant on my wedding night. I still continued to go to school. I had my first child in May at the age of 18 and missed walking with my graduation class. I found out a month later that I was salutatorian of my class. My husband only five years my senior was actually the legal guardian to my younger brother and I at the time. We moved from Michigan to my husband’s hometown in Massachusetts very shortly after marriage. We were immediately embraced by his family. As a black person I knew that we were a part of a culture that had endured so many things in the past. Our spirit and strength proved alone that we could prevail anything. My current family ending with the loss of my parents allowed me to work that much harder to hold together and plant the seed for the beginning of my new family that was about to exist.
That was 47 years ago. I am happy to say I have remained married for 47 years, against all marital odds for black folks. My husband and I raised 4 children who have all attended college. They are all married now with families of their own. Through my experience I found that you need to create your own reality, despite what awful things may come your way.