Souls of Seven

For the past thirty or more years, family reunions have been an integral part of the African American culture. It is these events that truly define who we are as a people. An ancient African proverb states “It takes a village to raise a child.” This proverb implies that we basically need others to care about us. Reuniting with family members whether it is with parents, brothers and sisters, cousins or anyone who has played some role in our life helps us to define who we are, and further reminds us that we are not alone. We are the village that helps to raise our children and keep our families together.

Through the media, America has often portrayed the African American family with assumed stereotypes of our culture: single-family homes, absentee fathers or out of wedlock children. While the assumed stereotype may be the story for some it is not the story for all. Living this story is also not the end. For most it is a beginning. This is the beginning of an extension of what ever part is needed to make the family whole. Historically African American families help to create any necessary extension.

Thanksgiving 2009, the Neves family had a reunion of the ages. The John and Albertina Neves family consists of seven children; they are survived by five remaining siblings varying in age from 63 -72 years. They live in different parts of the country and all came together with their families to be reminded of what Neves family love is truly all about. The gathering was a reunion that included all aspects of community and family. There were aunts, uncles, first cousins, second cousins, third cousins, nephews, nieces, grandparents, godparents and friends of the family that attended. Even though they all may not have known each other well, they all bonded with each other knowing they were part of the love passed on from their ancestors.

Entering the hall where the reunion took place there was an immediate smell of home; macaroni and cheese, cornbread dressing, collard greens, gravy and sweet potato pie. The room had all of the memorable smells of a perfect Thanksgiving. Aside from the smell, the room was filled with the magic of seeing a relative who had your eyes and your smile, a cousin who looks like your sister or seeing an aunt who looks like your child. All are constant reminders of a shared lineage. It was a night of never-ending hugs and kisses and cameras flashing as though the paparazzi had gone mad.

Day two was the icing on the cake of this wonderful weekend. The family planned a surprise birthday party for Joseph Sr. who turned 70 this year. Sister Lolita spearheaded the plans with her sisters, and all of the other relatives that lived in Massachusetts. Much to everyone’s desire, Joseph Sr. was truly touched and surprised. Joseph Sr. traveled to Massachusetts from Austin, Texas with his family for this reunion. He was roasted and honored for many things, his children shared fond memories of their past with their father, grandchildren sang to him and nephews noted what an influence he was in their life and how much admiration they had for him. Joseph is a fine example for his children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews to look up to. He has been a wonderful husband; father, brother, uncle, grandfather, mentor and friend to all. The night ended with a circle of love. Stevie Wonder, Dionne Warwick, and Gladys Knight sang “That’s what friends are for” overhead on the speakers. Family members slowly joined a circle that was wound tight and held together by warm embraces, held hands, and the spirit of their ancestors interwoven like a strong thread holding the family together. It is the connection and love of family that continues to thrive in this family. It was the wholeness of the African American family that was seen and felt this weekend.