By Deborah Roberts
My story is not unlike millions of others who have dreams of achieving goals not quite slated for the life they were born into. To understand my journey let’s start from the beginning; I am the fifth child in a family of ten. My parents were hard working class people and provided a reasonably good life for us. When I was in third grade I realized something, I wanted to be an artist. I didn’t even know what that meant – In fact I still don’t. I was eight years old and I drew on anything that moved. I was very creative, I drew on paper bags, walls, floors, sidewalks and even books, oh yes I said it, books. If I chose a book and it didn’t have a picture in it I drew one or if it had one I drew a better one, according to my sister.
No one could stop me; my mother would spank me and demand that I not leave my mess lying about the house. My father would tease me about my work and declare it would never amount to anything – it did. Now, I am not blaming my parents for the harsh reality they were exposing me to. They wanted me to be objective; the notion that I would be a professional artist in their minds was ludicrous. They had never seen a black artist before nor had they heard of someone making a living “coloring within the lines.” I now know as an adult that they wanted the best for me, but I was eight years old, and at eight there are no absolutes.
My mind was made up, no amount of teasing, doubting or physical persuading could turn me around. Family support is crucial and mine came around eventually, but support was not the determining factor. I drew because I loved to draw. It is as much a part of me as my arms and legs. The odd thing about it is that I cannot give a persuasive explanation of why I needed to be an artist. I guess I’m flawed in that way, but I have experienced the greatest of highs and have traveled to places simply because of my art. The message in this story and many others is we must live our lives in the spirit of that eight year old. Be adventurous, fearless and even defiant, if that assists you in your journey.
According to Sigmund Freud, “Reality passes its own verdict.” The reality and verdicts of our lives can be complicated and cruel. We live in the real world and some things are simply impossible. We are constantly adjusting to the ups and downs life throws at us daily. We must guard daily against complacency and laziness in order to achieve ones goals. The true measure is that we must stay diligent in our quest for success. I don’t live in the shadow of “what ifs’ or “because” I have taken chances with my work pushed boundaries of what is comfortable and safe. I still try and embody the spirit of my younger self; on many occasions I open the door and simply leap!